1 small Decision I made that changed a year Substantially
Big things have small beginnings!
Once Upon A Time When we were not arguing over the usefulness of a mask on our chin, things went as usual, people complained about their daily lives on the Internet and voiced their opinions such as politics as a way to boast moral superiority (actually never mind). I had recently returned from the Middle East and was back in college for my last semester. At the time while I was in the Middle East, I counted down the days until the end of my deployment thinking the kind of person I would be and how I would fare against the challenges in my civilian life based on the challenges I faced. Even the thought of it felt so surreal and it became more so when the moment arrived.
It was a rocky transition and I am not talking about the jetlag from traveling across different time zones. My baggage’s were missing, and the semester already started with the silver lining being that I did not have to worry about packing. There were many other responsibilities that I needed to attend to and while I understood my priorities, the possible outcomes worried me. If there was one thing, I was certain about, it was that I had to get to college.
Unsurprisingly, it felt weird coming back although not much has changed besides some renovated buildings. The social aspect of the school was garbage as usual. The weird feeling was having a lighter workload thanks to taking classes while deployed although that was compensated by a Capstone project that I still have not decided on the topic as well as the Professor I will be studying under.
How It Began
With everything I have been through in the Middle East the past 6 months, I was determined to continue where I left off rather than start from ground zero. One day after my last class, I was driving home when I decided to stop by CVS. I went to the supplies section and picked up a composition notebook.
Journaling
There was a lot on my mind and knowing that my mind wanders and often goes off topic, I decided I was going to start planning my agenda ahead. It was an advice I have often heard before whether during a workshop at a convention or some Youtuber that showed up in my recommendations. The big picture for me was time management.
The first few days felt hard to tell. It was going smoothly but too early to cast judgement otherwise it would seem like I was placeboing myself. If there was one thing I was certain about, I was getting more done at a rapid pace confronting the tasks sooner at hand. It felt fulfilling being able to balance school and work and career goals. That said, it was early to tell.
As time passed, I found myself more appreciative of routine as my schedule became more structured and my time budgeted more effectively. Another observation to appreciate was less anxiety and concern as I was waking up every morning not having to think about so much at once. I knew what I wanted to get done where oftentimes we may place too many tasks on our shoulders when they were not a priority to begin with. That just overwhelms our day and it comes from experience, wanting that feeling of being productive. It was from understanding this that I knew my decision-making had improved.
According to researchers at the University College of London, an activity has to be repeated for 66 days consecutively before it becomes a habit, essentially automatic. The research was published in the European Journal of Social Psychology if anyone is interested in checking it out. As it was not foreign to me, I took the first few weeks journaling with a grain of salt. Once it become apparent I would continue past 66 days, I knew there was no need for placeboing. I know I could be genuine about the changes especially understanding that it should not be about writing a quick to-do list or having goals. It ‘s really about having a system for getting work done and making occasional changes over time based on the person you become. All or mostly everything revolves around tradeoffs. With strengths come weaknesses or vice versa.
When the COVID outbreak forced colleges into remote learning, I joined the COVID response for my Guard Unit not long after. It was a tough decision since I was still in college and with my car troubles, would have to uber from Massachusetts to Rhode Island. It was taking my classes during my deployment and my decision to journal that helped alleviate the burden of the decision-making and where to go from there. With how I managed my time before, I became confident I handle more to my workload especially knowing that now my college was remote learning and I was not dependent on the gym as I got into Calisthenics.
The scarcity of time only served to encourage me as I valued the time I had. We often hear the saying, “quality over quantity,” but do we really practice it as much as we should? Oftentimes I have seen people spend almost the whole day at the library for assignments only to be lucky if they get anything done. I found more creative ways for getting work done as if I was reaching a higher state of consciousness. I was finding out more about myself as the days passed on treating every day as a building block to what I aspire to in the long-run. If anything, 2020 would serve as a significant building block to the years ahead.
While the days were going by, I found it remarkable how something as simple as planning the next day ahead could make a difference in my verbiage. I was stumbling less on words and felt I was able to articulate my points across with less words. In retrospect, I realized what I have been looking for all along is clarity. You can’t have direction without clarity. When you set the GPS for your destination, clarity comes in the form of directions. Sometimes you will get lost and sometimes in that process, you find a shortcut that leads to new perspectives about that area. I did not expect to always get everything done on my daily agenda but I sure knew where my focus was.
It’s because I journaled that I passed my AFOQT exam for my career goals.
It’s because I journaled that I am in the best shape I have ever been and more knowledgeable about health and science .
It’s because I journaled that I now have a Data Science certification and a more adept programmer than I could envision before.
It’s because I journaled that I now have a BS degree in Computer Science despite the demands of my job in the worst public health crisis in 100 years!
Fast forward to today, it’s been a year since I entered CVS to take that gamble and my only wish is I had started sooner. To all of you reading, don’t worry about the beginning serving as the end when the outcome may very well be part of the process! Journaling has served as a reminder that time is the greatest clarifier and mistakes could very well be what you have been looking all along. It depends on if you are the right person of yourself for that moment.
“No man ever steps in the same river twice, for its not the same river and he’s not the same man.”- Heraclitus
